Tuesdays With Mattimeo
by Emalynn Eleriel
Summary: An interview with Mattimeo, BEFORE he was kidnapped. See the brat in all his glory. Chapter 2 now up! 3 is coming soon(next week I hope)!
1. Default Chapter

Tuesdays With Mattimeo  
  
As retold by Emalynn, from the original article by an unnamed source, who will be reffered to as C.  
  
"I must admit, I was not thrilled when I was told to do an interview with Mattimeo. Everyone knew what a little horror he was, and how stubborn he could be. The following dialogue is from the notes I took during our many interviews.  
  
C: First of all, what is it like to be the abbey warrior's son?  
  
Matti: How many times do you think I've been asked that question?  
  
C: Umm...3?  
  
Matti: Try 24.5 .I only agreed to this because mum told me this interview would be different. Ask something....exciting!  
  
C: What was your last um..excursion with Tim and Tess?  
  
Matti: *laughing* Oh, that was funny! We poured some mud into Foremole's Deeper'n Ever Turnip an' 'Tater an' Beetroot pie! You should have seen his face!  
  
Foremole: Oi hurd thot!  
  
Matti: Uh oh! Oh well! It's not like I'll actually get into trouble.  
  
Constance: *angrily shouting* Matti!  
  
Matti: Gotta go!  
  
C: I guess there is a first time for everything. We'll have to continue this interview next Tuesday. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Following Tuesday  
  
C: What happened after you left last Tuesday?  
  
Matti: Dish duty. All week. So tired.  
  
C: Too tired to get into trouble?  
  
Matti: Not quite.  
  
C: Well, what are you planning?  
  
Matti: *perks up slightly* I'm going to float spoons!  
  
C: Float spoons?  
  
Matti: I got the idea from the abbey chronicles. When Martin the Warrior went on a quest to find his family he stopped with the NORT otters. The little otters would float spoons on the water, so there were never enough at meal times. Well I'm going to float (and sink) so many spoons that we'll all have to eat with our paws.  
  
C: Why didn't you just hide them while you were on dish duty?  
  
Matti: Hey, you're pretty good! Got any other ideas?  
  
C: Hmm..let's see. You could....Hey wait! You don't need any ideas! You get into enough trouble already.  
  
Matti: Yeah, I can't wait until bedtime!  
  
C: Huh?  
  
Matti: I short-sheeted Constance's bed. Oh no. Doesn't she take a nap right about now?  
  
Constance: MATTIMEO!  
  
Matti: Gotta go! 


	3. Our Final Meeting

*The Following Tuesday*  
  
C: Well, what is this, our fourth meeting? Fifth?  
  
Matti: It's our third! Do you find me that annoying?  
  
C: To be frank..... Yes! Well, it is kind of funny when you get into trouble, but most of your pranks are awful! You need some new ideas! I mean, face it! Your pranks are lame! They're filth!  
  
Matti: *pouts* They're not that bad are they?  
  
C: Yes!  
  
Matti:* Jaw quivering* I'm gonna cry!  
  
C: Baby!  
  
Matti: *defiant* I am not!  
  
C: Are too!  
  
Matti: Am not!  
  
C: Are too!  
  
Matti: Am not!  
  
C: Oh, forget it.  
  
Matti: Ha ha! I win! *does victory dance*  
  
C: AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! Just answer my questions!  
  
Matti: Fine.  
  
C: Okay, then. Now since you're tired of the average interview I've thought up some questions I know you've never heard before.  
  
Matti: Oh joy. I'm so excited.  
  
C: I knew you would be! How many times a day do you get into trouble?  
  
Matti: I don't know, never thought about it. Let's see. Today there was that incident by the pond, and the oatmeal disaster, then that trolley that just happened to get away and fell in the pond. I broke mum's best pudding spoon and.. C: Okay, Okay! I've heard enough! Next question. Um..*shuffles through notes* whose your best friend?  
  
Matti: You're desperate aren't you?  
  
C: I'm not that readable, am I?  
  
Matti: Oh, Ihate to be harsh, but........Yes!  
  
C: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I need a vacation, I can't take it no more!! I wanna go to Hawaii, Antarctica, wherever! Get me out of here!  
  
At this point, I leave it up to you to imagine where C goes, and what she does (including what world record she breaks) All I'll tell you is that until she came back Mattimeo had been captured by Slagar, had returned, and was never the same again. What a pity, because as Jimmy Buffet says " We need more fruitcakes in this world!" 


End file.
